Thursday, March 11, 2010

A bunny's fate

(by R.P.Edwards)

Soft and brown
Cute and dear
Little feet
And long of ear
Then thrown into the freezer’s craw
To warm…or thaw
And then withdrawn
On table placed
Raise high the hammer
O’er your face
And then with violence!
Yet…made for tongues
And not to chew
And “not” like chicken
But chocolate…sweet
Oh, candy bunny
Our Easter…treat

My wife came home with the package; the nondescript grocery bag that usually holds nothing more than the endless circle of routine meals and deals that we, as a family, tolerate as a whole (an imperfect toleration.)  But, this day…there was something--or should I say “someone”--more.  And this “someone” peeked silently from the cellophane window contained in a festive colored cardboard box.  Silent, and totally ignorant of his (or her, not sure) fate.

Straight away the box was place on a freezer shelf.  For, as everyone knows, a chocolate bunny is best served…very cold.  And then, when enough time had elapsed for the marvelous molecules to slow down sufficiently…the creature was brought into the light and, with a violent shucking of the container, a small crescent wrench (which I carry; doesn’t everyone?) was brought down: again! and Again! and Again! Until the chocolate bunny body could take it no more and, yielding an acceptable piece, this was quickly garnered and the remainder of the carcass…back into the crypt.

And so, the debate (albeit a silly one [needful from time to time]): at what temperature should milk chocolate be served; be consumed?  I prefer very cold; icecubish.  This inclination, however--if the beginning portion is large--requires violent intervention  (a blunt object or a saw of some sort) in order to achieve a taste bud ready size.  And, if the hunk is larger still; well, it can get somewhat brutal.  Speaking of which, I remember a couple years back when my honey found a deal on the “large” bunnies (you know, sixteen ouncers?) and I had to resort to a hammer in order to get the goods (hint: place in a strong freezer bag first).  Much pounding that year (she bought more than one).

And so, as you peruse the candy isle and see the seasonal offering of…chocolate bunnies; sure, you can eat them warm, taking dainty little baby bites.  Or, if you prefer, you can gnaw away like a bucktoothed beaver.  But, if you want to eat them the way they “should” be eaten; then open the deep freeze, and get your hammer…ready.

That’s what I think.  How about you?  Click comments below…and say.

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