Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Go-to Guy

The Quick Fix
(by R.P.Edwards)

A little tape
A little glue
A little patch
“Now, that will do!”
And off you go with merry heart
Till down the road
It falls…apart

“Looks like he bled out.”  The statement (concerning the obvious) caused the senior detective to gaze up from the gooey puddle (where he had temporarily stooped for a sample) and glare at his donut chomping associate.

“Huey,” said captain “Rick” with an air of unbridled disdain  (after all this was as gruesome a scene as the two had seen in quite some time), “don’t you ever stop eating?”

“A man’s got to keep his strength up, ain’t he?” with the speaking the junior officer offered his glaze covered right hand to help the boss to his feet. 

Reluctantly, the older grabbed the shiny paw (his knees weren’t what they used to be) and, standing and retrieving a handkerchief to wipe off the sticky, he grumbled in passing,  “You disgust me.”

“Wha? (urp)”

Brought the old Buick to Rick, the expert mechanic who has a side job at a local Auto part store.  He’s the go-to guy when you want the straight scoop on what’s wrong, and the best (and cheapest) way to fix it.  He looked at the weeping organ for about two seconds and said, “You need a new radiator.” 

“Well, couldn’t I, you know, patch it with some J-B weld?”

“You could, but then it will give out all at once.  Here’s a number to a place that will give you a much better deal than we will.”

The next day, after I took a short (I mean just a couple miles) trip--looking for some, er, J-B weld--the radiator “bled out” in the grocery store parking lot.  “Ol’ Rick knows what he’s talking about," says I.

Good thing I had some mighty putty to stuff in the hole.  Now the old girl's in the driveway...waiting for a transplant (and perhaps praying for a new owner).

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