The Coming Blizzard

 

 

Blizzards
(by R.P.Edwards)

Blizzards are subjective things
Depending where you’re at
Up north; a driving foot or three
Down south…much less than that
In fact, an inch can paralyze
The streets, so used to none
And make us pray for warmer days
When blizzards…do not come

Hans hardly slowed (though three miles into the trek) as he quickly shifted the hundred pound “rullning” stone (Swedish for “rolling”) from his aching right shoulder to a position centered on his heaving, flannel draped chest and, shifting slightly, he locked it securely with his powerful arms, crossed at the wrists.  “Hmmph,” he audibly uttered as he thought of his fellow weightlifters who spent their time in comfortable gyms, flexing in between applications of baby oil.  “Wimps,” he grunted (hurdling a fallen pine).  “Sport is not in the lifting…but in the race.”  As the last word exited his lips, so too the covering of the wood fell behind; and before him?…the last leg of the marathon; a mountain with a pleasant moniker (for others), but to the “athletes” it is simply known as “dumdristig,” which, translated, means…foolhardy.

On Sunday, last, we had, what I jokingly refer to as the Blizzard of ‘09.  Oh, we must have had an inch or two, but this was enough to raise the caution flag.  You see, we’re not used to a lot of snow around here.  We’ll get a few inches now and then.  But, generally, it’s a cause for concern and I, knowing the limitations of “Bubble Butt” (affectionate term for my vintage Roadmaster) I proceeded to shuffle some of the hibernating weights in the basement…to the trunk of said vehicle.  Yes, years ago I purchased the heavy rounds and proceeded to religiously “pump iron.”  That is, until my elbow let me know that a threshold had been passed.  Now, for the most part, they serve as a little extra “oomph” for the powered rear wheels and, even with the extra hundred pounds of ballast in the hold, I still proceeded to skate past the first stop sign (normally I would have thrown it in reverse, but I had a coffee mug in my hand).  “Physician heal thyself,” came to mind; as I had just given one of my boys the “how to” as far as winter driving goes.

Anyway,  this whole underwear bombing thing is like my two inch blizzard.  It reveals the weaknesses in the hardware (vehicle) and the software (mindset.)  I’m a little better prepared now.  But will this nation follow suit?  For surely…a real blizzard…is on its way.

That’s what I think.  How about you?  Click comments below…and say.