Ronald's PETA Problem

PETA POWER
(by R.P.Edwards)

PETA PETA
What’d you eata
That makes you act…so mean?
Trashin’ Ronald’s Happy Meal
Just hear the kiddies scream!
Oh, PETA PETA
Please be sweeta
I promise that I’ll try
Before the chickens nugget nap…
I’ll sing a lullaby

The Rep from the Animal Rights Guild (ARG!) was adamant, “Captain!” she shouted from the bridge’s hatchway. “The condition in the hold is unacceptable! The pets are suffering undo stress in these high seas. I strongly recommend we allow these precious living beings be freed from their pens and be tended to right away!” The captain, a weathered mariner of nearly sixty years, appeared indifferent as he barked commands to the helmsman and, via the squawk box, the engine room. “Captain!” repeated the resolute mistress as she stepped to, and placed her bejeweled right hand on the commanding officers nearest shoulder. Turning slowly (removing binoculars from his eyes) the gray-bearded skipper looked piercingly downward into the face of the intruder. “Madam,” he said succinctly with clenched teeth. “We have forty foot swells, only one engine, (then, loudly) and if I don’t give this “unacceptable” situation my undivided attention…we’ll all--including your precious “pets”--bloody die!” Yanking his shoulder away and reaffixing the lenses, he looked to the tumultuous future and spoke coolly, and clearly, “Boatswain mate, remove this “lady” from my bridge.” “Aye, aye captain.”

I watched with interest as PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has gone toe to toe with the mega-giant, McDonalds, as to their purchasing of chickens that have been slaughtered in an inhumane way. First of all; I’m pleased--since I believe one of their goals is a vegetarian society--that they make allowances for the “harvesting” to begin with. Secondly; I’ve gone to their site, checked out some of the info and, frankly, they have a point. Dealing with “live” birds opens the door for abuse and disease. Their alternative, Controlled-atmosphere killing (CAK), seems more humane and--if the facts are “so”--cost effective. The whole “McCruelty, I’m hatin’ it” campaign, however, is a bit tacky. But it did get my attention.

OK, here’s the bottom line. My Biblical Christian view is this: If every chicken from creation to eternity was slaughtered in a ghastly way…all of these billions and billions added together do not equal “one” precious human baby that is regularly ripped to pieces….just down the street.

Here’s my proposition: How about PETA (supposedly 2 million strong) using their resources to end the inhumane practice of infanticide. Then, once that is done, I’ll be glad to join in their efforts to ease the pain of the chickens.