Ronald's PETA Problem

PETA POWER
(by R.P.Edwards)

PETA PETA
What’d you eata
That makes you act…so mean?
Trashin’ Ronald’s Happy Meal
Just hear the kiddies scream!
Oh, PETA PETA
Please be sweeta
I promise that I’ll try
Before the chickens nugget nap…
I’ll sing a lullaby

The Rep from the Animal Rights Guild (ARG!) was adamant, “Captain!” she shouted from the bridge’s hatchway. “The condition in the hold is unacceptable! The pets are suffering undo stress in these high seas. I strongly recommend we allow these precious living beings be freed from their pens and be tended to right away!” The captain, a weathered mariner of nearly sixty years, appeared indifferent as he barked commands to the helmsman and, via the squawk box, the engine room. “Captain!” repeated the resolute mistress as she stepped to, and placed her bejeweled right hand on the commanding officers nearest shoulder. Turning slowly (removing binoculars from his eyes) the gray-bearded skipper looked piercingly downward into the face of the intruder. “Madam,” he said succinctly with clenched teeth. “We have forty foot swells, only one engine, (then, loudly) and if I don’t give this “unacceptable” situation my undivided attention…we’ll all--including your precious “pets”--bloody die!” Yanking his shoulder away and reaffixing the lenses, he looked to the tumultuous future and spoke coolly, and clearly, “Boatswain mate, remove this “lady” from my bridge.” “Aye, aye captain.”

I watched with interest as PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has gone toe to toe with the mega-giant, McDonalds, as to their purchasing of chickens that have been slaughtered in an inhumane way. First of all; I’m pleased--since I believe one of their goals is a vegetarian society--that they make allowances for the “harvesting” to begin with. Secondly; I’ve gone to their site, checked out some of the info and, frankly, they have a point. Dealing with “live” birds opens the door for abuse and disease. Their alternative, Controlled-atmosphere killing (CAK), seems more humane and--if the facts are “so”--cost effective. The whole “McCruelty, I’m hatin’ it” campaign, however, is a bit tacky. But it did get my attention.

OK, here’s the bottom line. My Biblical Christian view is this: If every chicken from creation to eternity was slaughtered in a ghastly way…all of these billions and billions added together do not equal “one” precious human baby that is regularly ripped to pieces….just down the street.

Here’s my proposition: How about PETA (supposedly 2 million strong) using their resources to end the inhumane practice of infanticide. Then, once that is done, I’ll be glad to join in their efforts to ease the pain of the chickens.

The Ultimate Sin

The Sin
(by R.P.Edwards)

Greater than the liar
Much worse than the thief
Way above the “Armed and D…”
The felons that cause grief
More horrid than the murderers
That is: the baby-killing kind
Are those who hurt our furry friends
Much worse…you’ll nary…find

It was in the Sunday paper. I heard about it from a co-worker and checked it out for myself. Yup, Michael Vick was due to be sprung from the penal system and, if his one on one with the Football commish goes well (his penitent soul being scrutinized for sincerity), Mr. Vick might possibly…just maybe…be allowed to sneak (tail between his legs) back into the NFL to try and regain some of his former wonder…and wealth.

Now, I’m not here to lessen the offenses committed by the former pro-player. His dog-fighting doings were nasty, to say the least. Cruel?…yes. Reprehensible?…yes. Worthy of punishment?…yes. But, please, let’s put things in perspective. For instance, less than two miles from my computer station is a rather large abortion clinic. In this one horrid place, over the last three and one half decades, the respected “professionals” who operate this chop shop have killed (I would say “murder,” but that’s so…so…accurate), anyway, in this one clinic more Americans have been snuffed out than died in World War I, Korea and Vietnam…combined! And yet…they practice their grisly tasks with hardly a peep from the locals and, of course, nothing negative from the press.

And so…this is our “modern” America. Lovers of all non-human life; be it owl, minnows, or our lovable pooch. But when it comes to the most important species…the one with the “divine spark,”….well, that one is inconsequential. Here’s a tip for Mr. Vick; if you’re not allowed back into the “game,” or if your body has passed its competitive prime, then consider training to be an abortionist. Then you can be as hateful and destructive as you want…and the press and their peers…will love you.